So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
