my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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