I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
