There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
