our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
