For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
