quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
3pm strippers are depressing
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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