yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
