the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
