We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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