There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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