i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
