I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
