I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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