I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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