Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize