you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
