Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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