My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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