just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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