what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
