I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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