used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, beer. Big fan.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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