apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
