I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
