Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
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