I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We talked him into tasing himself.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
