office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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