i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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