It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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