i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
