dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
