so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
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