Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My feet surprised me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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