I skipped work to stalk him.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
