i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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