She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
