She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize