I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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