I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize