She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize