his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
