I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize