i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
