is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
