dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
