Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
