Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
