Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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