He is like the real live version of the state fair..
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
