does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
