I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
