check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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