She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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