You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
