i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize