return my video game
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
